You have probably heard the saying before – you are what you eat – in which case I am a slim bottle of wine, and a couple wedges of Brie cheese, you can let your imagination put that together!   

That being said, there is real evidence to support the idea that our thoughts and words make us what we are and are, powerful tools in making up our world reality.  Consider these quotes:

‘With our thoughts we make our world’ – Gautama the Buddha.

‘Energy follows thought’ – Annie Besant – Thought Power: Its Control and Culture (1903/1979).

‘We become what we behold’ – William Blake.

‘Man creates his own disharmony’- Hasrat Inyayat Khan.

With the above in mind let us have a closer look at some of the words we use and the deeper meaning of these.

We will begin with a phrase that some people use after you state something to someone. This is, ‘yes but.’ This is their way of negating the opinion or idea that you have expressed. Listen to yourself as you speak. Do you use this? It is a communication blocker.

You should instead, acknowledge what the other person just said, and then add something to it by saying “yes, and.” This will improve the energy of the communication. Firstly it acknowledges the persons point of view as valid for them and secondly it keeps the flow of the conversation in place.

Take a good look at other words used in everyday conversation.  There are empowering and disempowering words that most of us use a lot of the time. For instance ‘got to’, ‘have to’ and ‘must’ usually denote a feeling of no choice. Again, listen to yourself talk and the speech of others to get a sense of what is going on at an inner level.

‘Should’ is a good one to be aware of, as there is usually some feelings of guilt behind it. Do you ever find yourself saying, ‘I should go and do xyz’? At the back of this is the idea that if I do not I will feel bad.

We also have never, forever and always. These come under the heading of gross generalizations. The first thing that can be stated is they are generally ‘never’ true all the time. For example; ‘She always gets that look on her face when I come home late’ and ‘you never buy me anything nice any more.’ These statements are reflecting the perception of the person generalizing, not the reality of the matter. Again, use awareness with regard to what is going on in any given communication situation.

The word ‘try’ is another interesting little word. You may have seen a demonstration of this when someone is asked to try to pick up a pen. You do not ‘try’ to do something. You either do it or you do not. Another example would be if you ask someone to do something for you and they reply that they ‘will try’ to do whatever it is you have asked. You can be pretty sure with that sort of comeback your request will not be honored.

Start becoming more aware of the words and phrases you use. It may surprise you when you test this theory and change just a few words; your communication with others and your life in general may be transformed and people will actually understand what you are saying and can communicate in a more positive manner.

Once you test the Power of Words, find out how you can get what you want from OTHER people using the Keys To Power Persuasion.