Has it ever occurred to you that most of the time you could be your own worst enemy? This usually happens when you listen to that nagging little voice in your head that keeps sending out negative thoughts that make you feel inadequate. If you could quiet that self doubting voice, or change the message to something more positive, you could accomplish so much more every day. You CAN learn to do that very thing in just a few short steps.
Here are a few suggestions that might help:
Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have a huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life. If you can remember a time when you felt really self confident, use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy.
Feeling good, and/or having self confidence, activates a major ‘hormonal’ element that can change the way you feel by re-living good times. When you feel self-conscious, (or you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail.
For example: take a moment to actually examine a door. Look at the different textures and shades of color, wonder about who made it and how and so on. Doing this will train you to relax by keeping your attention off yourself.
Social self confidence can sometimes be difficult to find because it is unclear what you are ‘supposed to do’. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is.
Whether you’re there to Network and make business contacts, or discover new information, determine ahead of time what your goal is. It’s much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.
Have you noticed that you will speak to yourself in a way you would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing – if you break a glass you might mutter “You stupid idiot. You can’t do anything right can you?” Criticism that leaves you feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Don’t get into the habit of making sweeping statements about yourself – in the long run it is that sort of thing that can really damage your self image. When you find yourself making a negative remark, say to yourself, “Hold on a minute, that’s not true, one broken glass doesn’t make me an idiot.”
Then, try to come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement (maybe something like “would an idiot have just gotten a raise at their job?”) This should be something positive, and true of course. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self confidence level will be huge.
If you need help training your mind, check out Self Help Street where you’ll find everything from – “The Cheat’s Guide to Instant Genius!” to Hypnosis, Subliminal Messaging and Lucid Dreaming.